Late Nights and Early Mornings: Part Two

 I have always loved watching performing artists, whether they be singers, actors, dancers, etc. I would look at them from a young age always so enthralled with their talent and their courage to be in front of people. As a kid I was always quiet, I still am but in no way as shy as I was then. Its actually quite strange how my shyness comes out now. I can be in front of an audience speaking freely and I will be calm and excited at the same time. But when I meet somebody for the first time I can be very quiet and shy. I suppose it could be considered reverse stage fright.  

 All performing artists have caught my attention, but the ones who have caught it the most have always been the actors. Just being able to fall in love or hate with those characters and once you find those few actors that just spark some interest, you begin to follow their career. Then some may continue to follow them through interviews and whatnot to find out what their really like, and through that you can see how truly talented they are by how different the person is from the people they portray. Those people inspire me. I want to work hard study my roles and blow people away at what I can do with what I am most passionate about. I have been told on a few different occasions that my energy changes when I begin to talk about what I am passionate about. There are two things at the moment that I am incredibly passionate about: (1) Acting and pursuing an education in the dramatic arts and (2) everything UK related. I can feel the energy change when I begin to talk about either of these things but its quite amazing the reactions that I have gotten based off of this change. Their reactions just fuel my passion even more, they validate the fact that I am extremely driven and will do almost anything to get me to where I want to go. 

 In two years I hope to do several things; gain a certificate in massage therapy, go back-packing through the UK and Europe, and last but not least, get into the American Academy of Dramatic Arts (AADA) in either Los Angeles or New York. I also want to possibly try to get into the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts based in London, this would be my main choice but a semester there is the same price as a whole year of school in the states. I will see if I can get the funds together for it but more than likely I will go to either AADA in LA or NY, and that's fine with me because no matter where I am, I will be doing what I love.

  This is me telling the world that I am ready to do what it takes to always be doing what I am passionate about. I am ready to show everybody what Hannah Philputt is made of.

Fin.

Late Nights and Early Mornings

 I seem to find myself with the most clarity between 11pm and 2am. At these hours the house is quiet and calm and I can just hear myself think. I don't have to worry about anything because I know that whatever anxieties I have during the day I can't fix them now, not at this hour of the night. Those worries can wait until the morning. But there is a fine line between this relaxation and the 3am nerves. It is always the same. My sanity stays in tact through these late hours until about 3am. I then begin to over-think and worry about things that are out of my control. Once passed that point I usually won't be able to fall asleep until about 5am. So for now I am still in the clear for sanity. 

 Its very peaceful. At these hours I tend to think about my future and what I want to do with it. I can clearly see what I want; its a life of happiness, love, hard work, and success. At these hours it is so easy to see the path which I need to follow, the choices I need to make. But once I wake up tomorrow, its always the same, those clear goals seem to go right out the window. Recently, I have started to try to focus my energy in really trying to make my goals small and realistic so I can easily reach them, but my dreams are so big sometimes its hard to face the smaller details that are need to make that big dream a reality. That sounds incredibly cheesy, but it is true.

 I want to become a successful actress, not necessarily famous, just successful. In my book success means hard work and being able to do what I love for the rest of my life. Yes, being on Broadway, film, or TV would be incredible and that is what I'm reaching for; I want to show the world what I can do. I believe I have talent, and I know I have the drive and passion for this beautiful art, and I want to share this love. Those actors and actress I admire the most are the ones that exude passion for what they do. They immerse themselves into the roles and then something beautiful happens, suddenly the actor is gone and replaced completely by the character. Those are the people that you could lose yourself in. I want to become one of those people. I want people to forget that I'm there and only see the character. I believe at least once, everybody wishes they could be somebody else and I am definitely one of those people. That's yet another thing I love about this dramatic art, you can transform yourself into somebody completely opposite of yourself. For those moments in the other person's shoes, you're gone and you don't have to think about your own worries, you just let go. 

 I think I have just realized why I love both acting and late nights/early mornings, its because they both, at least to me, have some relaxing effect. They just help me to let go of the world swirling around me.

                                                                         tbc.